scared

I am sick of this feeling

There’s always this heavy feeling in my chest.

I don’t know which way is left or right –

I am scared, to be honest.

I am scared that one mistake has cost me my whole entire life,

Scared that no one will remember me for what I am

I don’t know who I am supposed to turn to

Who will be there to hold me down –

Because let’s face it, everyone lets you down some way or the other.

How am I supposed to know now, who’s worth taking the risk for

I took the risk for the worst person possible

And look where that got me.

I thought I had everything sorted, everything planned,

But what kind of plan was it

Because looking back I can’t even comprehend it anymore.

Everyone has answers for what the right thing is

But everyone’s there making the same mistakes I am, just in different ways

We’re all hypocrites.

I let you all tell me off

Even though I tell myself off every day.

I let everyone stare at me

Even though I can’t bare to look at myself.

It’s funny because people have so much to say

And I have so little to say.

My mind wanders a lot,

We’re having an adventure of our own

Without everyone else in it

There isn’t any room for any strangers anymore

But that scares me,

Being lonely scares me

But letting someone get close scares me even more.

The world is at my feet

But my feet are on the edge of the world

I’m just on the outskirts

A stranger looking in

An alien would be the right word

That’s right. I feel like an alien

A strange creature who people look at a bit funny

Sometimes I repeat myself

I make tens of thousands of mistakes

But I am only a reflection of real human emotion

And I can’t apologise for being a little bit scared