"her"

She leans out her neck slightly

A reaction to my fingers running down her spine.

There’s beauty in her collarbones

I want to kiss every crease, every line.

It’s familiar- this temptation, this lust.

Yet I can’t submit to it

She’s not right

Because it’s not her

–

I continue, despite the dispute of my heart.

I let my prurience take over

She’s exhaling slowly

It creeps up on me

So much desire swept over her absent face

Her lips are quivering

Much like the nervous butterflies knocking on my chest.

Deep down I need to listen, and hold myself back,

Because it’s not her

–

I should just get it over with.

Let it be another something for me to forget

But it feels like I’m erasing her memories.

Replacing her with something meaningless –

Something withdrawn, defect.

–

She moves slowly,

I see infatuation in her eyes.

I can’t think straight

I never thought I’d be this kind of guy.

Thinking twice about something I used to be done with in five

But something in my heart sinks

I can’t look into her eyes without seeing her

–

I take a shot, smoke three draws, forgetting about the past and what it held

I have to move forward

Forget everything she was for me

I hold her close to my chest

Pretending she’s precious, unlike the rest.

Although it’ll never be her again,

In my arms, chest to chest.

I’m filling this void in my vacant heart

From the day she left.